Reinventing Myself - Lasting Legacy

Leaving a lasting legacy for my children is one of the main reasons for Reinventing Myself.  


Psalm 127:3-4 (MSG) says, 

"Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?  Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth."

My obedience, trust, and faith in God lived out, live and in color has already began to set the example for them.  They will be able to draw from the strength and courage that God has bestowed upon me to accomplish extraordinary things.  


One thing that sticks out so vividly in my mind, is hearing Joshua say, "Momma I wish you could eat lunch with me and pick me up from school everyday."  That statement from a 5 year old can really tug a momma's heart strings!  I began to wonder how can I make that happen.  


It's amazing how God intricately alines our lives.  That's why it is essential to life to know what God has purposed for you.  God had opened a few doors of opportunity for me.  Each one of these opportunities were in sync with what God has called me to do.   So I decided to take the LEAP.  


Now between loads of laundry, I look for legacy moments.  Instead of rushing to fold the clothes so that I could move on to the next task, I take the time to teach my daughter Victoria how to fold a towel and match mates to socks.  Instead of just being UFC referee for the Murdock Showdowns, I teach them what it means to respect & love each other.  


Our children are a gift from God, not burdens.  We must take time from our busy lives and ensure that our "arrows" when released will hit the mark.   Loving and caring for our children is one of the main ways we honor God and share in the building of His kingdom.
   
~Demetria

Reinventing Myself: Thriving Instead of Just Barely Surviving

WPPI Retreat Painting

A few weeks ago, I decided to attach some legs to my faith and take a huge leap towards my dreams!  I left a well paid, "secure", and comfy job in order to live out the purpose that God has placed in my heart.  I've taken early retirement from the status quo to pursue my passion of journeying with others as they discover their God purpose.  So you may be thinking, "This girl is crazy leaving a good paying job in today's economy."  But what I began to realize over the last few years is that that place where I use to be comfortable and fit in was starting to become uncomfortable and like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole. :) Yeah, I know I got that metaphor backwards but I'm round not square. I realized I had put myself in a box.  My creativity had been lost and I didn't know where I had left it. I just recently finished reading "Drop Like Stars" by Rob Bell.  He says, 


"And then there are those who think and feel and live and create from a different place.  They've had their boxes smashed and their insulators dismantled until they had no other option but to imagine a totally new tomorrow." 


All of the little life boxes I had created for myself like having 2.5 kids and living in the house with the with the white picket fence were all crushed when our first son was born with Trisomy 18 (Edward's Syndrome).  There we were in December of 2002, a few days before Christmas, standing eyeball-to-eyeball with the unknown. Trying to figure out why God gave us this sweet, special little boy to raise.  But it was through our son's birth & death 4 years later and 3 more beautiful babies, that God gave me a Hope in Jesus Christ that would never fade. 


It is from that place where I got up the courage to "cross the Red Sea as if it were dry land" in order to leave that place of comfort and security called a job.  It is from that place where I learned to kick fear and doubt out the window and truly begin walking by faith.   You see, your faith has legs and it wants to walk and not be carried like a baby.  

It is from this place that I am leaving the familiar, expecting the impossible, accomplishing the unattainable, and pursuing passion with purpose.  Yes, there are lots of what if's... What if it doesn't work?...What if I totally fail?...So what!  


This I do know. Ephesians 3:17-20 tells us to Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.  It tells us to Reach out and experience the breadth of Christ's love, test its length, plumb the depths, and rise to the heights! 


If you want to live life to its fullest, find your God-ordained purpose, and begin thriving instead of just surviving, I invite you to journey with me over the next few days, weeks, & months as I walk out my mountain moving faith, transforming, reinventing myself.   

Tre' Bear Project - Sharing the Love of Christ

Having a child in the hospital can be tough on a family, but imagine having to be there during the holidays. My family and I have experienced this first hand. On December 22, 2002, our son Tre’ was born with Edward’s Syndrome and given only days to live. From that moment, our lives changed forever. We were in and out of the hospital at least 2 or 3 times a year. Our son passed away on March 30, 2007 after losing his battle with liver cancer. His determination and will to live is what has led us to give hope to others during Christmas by giving away teddy bears. 

In 2007 we started the TRE' Bear Project.  Our supporters donated 50 "Champ" bears from the Build-A-Bear Workshop to the children at Hemby Children's Hospital at Presbyterian in Charlotte, NC.  

This year was very special for us because we actually re-connected with one of the recipients of the bears.  Her name is Morgan.  She has an awesome testimony about how we touched her life and she now works at the Build-A-Bear store!  


Morgan's Story: 

I was 16 years old and had to spend my christmas break at the hospital. During my week there I had friends and family coming and supporting me, holding my hand every step of the way. I had been broken down, exhausted and all I wanted to do was to be home and with my family on christmas. It was on my 3rd day at the hospital that Demetria came in with this Champ Build-a-Bear, in memory of her lost son. The bear had patches over the body and a heartbeat in its chest that thumped when pressed on. It wasn't until I read the excerpt, within the tag of the bear, that I grasped the importance this bear brought. The blurb about the Champ bear explained that each patch on his body represented a struggle he had to overcome and that it is okay to show your hurting wether it be on the inside or outside. It was about 15 minutes after Demetria and her friend had left that tears started down my face, It was such a relief knowing that we will go through hard times but it makes us who we are. The next day I was being sent home, on Christmas Eve. I remember sitting in the back seat holding on to the bear as tight as possible, thanking God for giving me the strength to go home.

I wish I could say that was my last trip to the hospital but unfortunately it was not. I have had 3 hospital visits since then and every single time, Champ was by my side. Every hard day at school or every fight with a friend, I squeezed Champ and knew it was just another patch to add to my fur, so to speak. And to this day whenever I look at my Champ bear it reminds me never to give up no matter how stressful or painful a situation may be, and to be thankful for all the struggles I have been though because they make me the person I am today.

Demetria, It is so very hard for me to put into words how much your gift has meant to me. I hope my testimony has given you a slight idea. I am very thankful of what you have done. If you ever need any help please let me know I would be more then happy to give back to someone even a portion of what you have given me.


This truly shows us the power of the Love of Jesus and how sharing it with others can have a significant impact on someone's life.  


Check out the article: http://www.heraldonline.com/109/story/1803553.html


Demetria

Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

Written to my heavenly son Tre': 

It is hard to believe that you would have been 7 years old today.  Its seems like not long ago you were a baby and just yesterday that we gave you back to the Lord at the tender age of 4.  


Psalm 139 verses 13 through 16 still resonates in my mind as I think about your birth day. 


13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

I obtain comfort in knowing that God knew you would be born with Edward's Syndrome (Trisomy 18) before you came to earth.  Wow! All your days were written in God's book!  Although your first few days, weeks and even months were intimidating, you triumphed over your struggles.  We saw God heal your heart, re-shape your hands and give you a smile that could melt the most rigid heart.  He even healed you of the cancer although not here on earth.  We thank God for the miracles he performed in you and the lives of our family too.  We miss you dear but you are always near in pictures and memories we hold close to our hearts.  


Love,
Mommy

Hope - Grief's Best Music

The other day I sat and looked attentively as my 4 year old son Joshua gazed at family photos on the living room wall.  He glimpsed at a portrait of his older brother Tre' and said, "Mommy I miss Tre', I wish he could come back".  My heart skipped a beat and then melted to the floor.  You see, our son Tre' was the same age as Joshua when he lost his battle with liver cancer a little over 2 years ago.  Joshua was only 2 years old when his big brother went to be with the Lord.  And let me tell you, Joshua will never forget him.  


Reflecting on those thoughts uttered from the mouth of a babe, if Tre' could come back would he?  I am sure he is having too good of a time to come back to us on Earth.  I know he will be waiting with other loved ones to receive us into heaven.  One thing is for sure, while we are still here, we must live our lives in such a way that we will be able to see him again.  


Having experienced the loss of my child, someone I helped give life to, I've come to the realization that people are the most important thing in life.  I am sure you have heard people say "There are no U-Hauls following behind hearses".  There is nothing in this world that you can take with you when you pass from this life except people, by showing them Jesus Christ.  My husband and I live our lives so that the light of Jesus shines through us.  So that some, if not all, can be saved.  They will be the ones we will see again in heaven.  

When I grieve my son, I read Romans 5:1-5 and rest in HOPE.  
"We have peace with God through his son Jesus Christ.  Through whom we have gained access by faith into His grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God!  The HOPE of knowing that one day we will see Tre' again."  


In the words of Henry Bohn, a 19th century British publisher, "HOPE is grief's best music" 


Much Luv,
Deme

Dry Bones Live (Spiritual ReBirth) - 2009 She Speaks Conference

Wow is about all I can say about the She Speaks Conference!   The weeks and days leading up to the conference, I felt physically and spiritually depleted.  I was in a drought, a dry place.  I didn't feel worthy enough or qualified enough to even attend such an event.  I had lost hope for the ministry vision God had given me.  Me and Doubt were having a fabulous Pity Party.  I began to feel like Ezekiel down in the midst of the valley full of dry bones (Ezekiel 37:1-14).  But as I sat through each session God began to breath new life into my dream.  He added flesh and skin back to the ministry He gave me months before.  I give much props to the team at Proverbs 31 Ministries.   They did an awesome job putting it all together.  After leaving the conference on Saturday night, I felt as though I had hit the lottery.  A wealth of information, resources, and experts in the Christian world of writing and speaking were right at my finger tips.   God granted me access so that I can empower others.  Being around so many women that shared common ground, gave me the confidence to dust off my dream to write and share God's gift of HOPE. 


Much Luv,
Deme

Today's Walk - Look towards the Son!

Over the last week I have been really seeking God on some things in my life.  All throughout the day, God had been dropping some nuggets into my heart.  Recently I started a walking regiment in an effort to loose some weight.  I have been using my walking time to really reflect on what it is God wants me to do and how he wants me to do it.  I left work a little later than usual and couldn't make up my mind whether or not to walk.  God spoke to me and said Go walk because this is where I can spend quality time with you.  I started out on my walk and when I got to the spot where I usually start off on the trail, God said go the opposite way you have been going.  I began thinking to myself if I go the opposite way I will be blinded by the sun.  I don't have any shades because my husband sat on them the other day!  That's a story for another day.  I was obedient and followed God's instructions.  God was telling me to go against the grain.  He was telling me to do things different from what is normal or accepted.  Earlier this week, I started a new bible study lesson called "Life: The Edited Version".  The author's main scripture was Jeremiah 18:4 (HCSB) which says.. 

"But the jar that he was making from the clay became flawed in the potter's hand, so he made it into another jar, as it seemed right for him to do."

Here in this scripture, God is giving us a real-life example of how He, the master craftsman of our earthen vessels, wants to re-shape us into a beautiful work of art.  Listening to God today and changing the direction of my physical walk is symbolic of how he wants to change our spiritual walk also.  But that is not the best thing about my walk today.

Now as I began walking, in the opposite direction along the trail,  the Sun appeared brightly in my eyes until I was sort of blinded by it.  I continued along as the Sun darted in and out among the many trees along the trail.  I watched as people walked passed me once and even twice.  I started to get tired because I am so out of shape.  I even thought about taking a seat on a bench along the way. As I rounded the bend on the last stretch of my walk,  I was again blinded by the Sun.  It was at that point God revealed to me that although I walked in the opposite direction unsure of how different the trail would be, He would show me His SON!  The sun was there at the beginning of my walk and it was there at the end of my walk.  All the time appearing through the forest of trees.  As my Pastor/Husband says when he preaches, "You can go ahead and shout right there".  

Throughout our life journey, we must stop and take time to fellowship with God. Away from the noise and hustle and bustle of everyday life.  He wants a relationship with us.  He desires to take a walk with us.  Although you may get tired along the way, you cannot stop and sit on a bench.  You must continue on. Paul tells the church of Philippi that ...

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"  Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

Some of you reading this blog may be feeling God tug at your heart for you to get to know him more intimately.  He wants you to take a detour and walk with him.

Today God has called me to walk in the opposite direction, go against the grain and do what is abnormal.  Maybe its time for me to practice some responsible irresponsibility as the author Mark Batterson says in his book "Wild Goose Chase". He has shown me as long as I am looking towards the Son, he will guide me every step of the way.  

Demetria Murdock